Meeting My Past as the Person I've Become

Sometimes we don't realize how much we've healed until we meet someone who remembers who we used to be.

I want to share something that happened today that I never thought I'd be ready for.

After seven years, I finally spoke to someone from my past.

Right before the call, as I was finishing my breakfast, I suddenly felt nervous. Before I had time to overthink it, I pressed the call button anyway.

That one decision reminded me just how much healing can happen without us even realizing it.

The person I spoke with is someone I'll call Veronica for the sake of this story. Between 2015 and 2019, I considered her an older sister. We met through church, and after I left that community in 2019, we stopped talking, although we still followed each other on social media.

For years, I wasn't ready to reconnect with anyone from that chapter of my life. Every time I imagined running into someone I used to know, I'd feel anxious. Sometimes, if I saw someone from that time while I was out, I'd avoid them completely. I wasn't ready to revisit that part of my life, and I knew I needed distance while I healed.

Over the years, that slowly started to change.

Two years ago, I saw the pastor’s daughter when her sister-in-law and I met up for coffee. Then, a little after that, the pastor’s daughter and I went to a ballet, and none of the things I feared happened.

Last November, I saw two other people from church at an event in my city and talked to them a little. Again, nothing I feared happened.

Each of those experiences chipped away at the fear I'd carried for years. 

Before I moved in May, my mom mentioned she was planning to meet with Veronica. When I heard that, something inside me surprised me. I wanted to go too.

Unfortunately, our schedules didn't line up before my move, so we never got the chance to meet in person. Instead, we started texting a little.

As we talked, I realized something unexpected. It felt normal.

The conversations weren't stressful. I didn't feel judged. Little by little, I started thinking that maybe I was ready for something I never thought I'd be ready for.

So I asked if she'd like to have a video call.

Today, that finally happened.

At first, we stayed with safe topics and caught up on each other's lives. But before long, it felt like no time had passed. We were able to talk openly, laugh together, and share parts of our journeys without fear of being judged.

We ended up talking for about two and a half hours.

Honestly, we probably could have kept talking.

We even encouraged each other to start playing our instruments again since we had both stopped after leaving church. Before we ended the call, we made plans to get together and play whenever I go back home to visit.

When the call ended, I thought about everything that had just happened.

I felt satisfied and happy. I felt grateful for the opportunity to reconnect and excited for future conversations with her.

As I reflected on the conversation, I realized something important.

Sometimes we don't notice how much we've changed because we experience our growth one day at a time. But every once in a while, life gives us a moment that lets us see ourselves through a different lens.

Talking with Veronica became one of those moments for me.

She remembered the version of me from seven years ago. The version of me who was still trying to figure out who she was. The version of me who was always trying to make everyone else happy, while ignoring my needs and wants.

And while I had watched myself change little by little over the past seven years, she hadn't.

That conversation reminded me just how different those two versions of me really are.

It also reminded me that healing doesn't happen overnight.

If Veronica had reached out to me years ago, I honestly don't think I would've been ready. I needed time. I needed distance. I needed space to heal before I could reconnect with someone from that part of my life. Looking back, I'm grateful that Veronica respected that. She didn't reach out until she knew, through my mom, that I was ready. 

Healing has its own timeline. 

Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is give ourselves permission not to be ready yet.

Another thing this experience taught me is that healing doesn't mean fear completely disappears.

I was still nervous before the call. But healing isn't about never feeling afraid again. Sometimes healing looks like feeling afraid and realizing you can move forward anyway.

I also realized that not every person from our past needs to come back into our lives.

For me, reconnecting with Veronica felt right because she was someone I deeply cared about, and I wanted to find out if there was still a genuine friendship worth saving. However, that doesn't mean I'll reconnect with everyone I knew during that season of my life.

Healing isn't about reopening every door. It's about choosing, with wisdom and peace, which ones are worth opening.

If you're in a season of healing, I want to encourage you not to rush yourself. Just because you're not ready to face someone or something from your past doesn't mean you aren't making progress.

Healing isn't measured by how quickly you revisit your past. Sometimes it's measured by the quiet work you're doing every day to become someone who can face it when the time is right.

If you'd told me seven years ago that one day I'd be smiling after a two-and-a-half-hour conversation with someone from that season of my life, I never would've believed you. But today, I can’t imagine missing it.

Have you ever had a moment that made you realize how much you've grown?

I'd love to hear your story in the comments.

And if you're trying to rebuild your life after trauma and you're looking for someone to walk alongside you, I'd be honored to support you. Feel free to book a free discovery call whenever you're ready.